10 Wedding do's and don'ts
10 wedding do's and don'ts to keep your wedding day running smoothly. Everything from where to include your registry, to which vendors you should tip and how to cut back on your bar tab.
Do remember to book your officiant
Your officiant should not be a last minute decision, this is the person that will be standing with you as you make one of the most important commitments of your life! Now don’t let that stress you out.
We suggest choosing someone you are already close to. This could be your childhood pastor, a best friend or the person who introduced you. Make sure you check out the requirements for having them ordained in your state if they aren’t already.
Colorado does not require couples to have an ordained minister officiate a wedding, so you can legally marry without an officiant. Couples have even opted to have their dog sign their wedding license in Colorado since witnesses are not required, only the couples signature are needed!
Don’t include your registry on your invite
Etiquette says adding your registry to your wedding invitation is a total faux pas. So where DO you include it? The best place for registry information is right along side hotel information, driving directions and your wedding weekend schedule. This place is on your personal wedding website. They are easy to build, are a great way to show off your personalities in addition to a few of your engagement photos. Just have the URL printed on your invitation insert.
Do a first look
If you are not completely opposed to a first look, we strongly suggest it. Doing a first look will give you more time with your soon to be husband or wife on the day you have been planning for so long. Seeing your soon-to-be spouse before the ceremony will calm both of your nerves. We have seen both the bride and groom visibly relax after seeing and getting some time to chat with their significant other before walking down the aisle. You will have more time for photos earlier in the day which will lend you better light. A first look will also free up time at cocktail hour to mingle with your guests and sip your signature cocktail. As a bonus your photographer will love you, since they will have more time to capture gorgeous shots with you and your partner.
If are you still not convinced to do a first look, consider how the tradition of not seeing each other before the ceremony came about. During arranged marriages, it was customary for the groom to not see the bride at all until she walked down the aisle. This custom was put in place so that the groom would not cancel the wedding before the ceremony if he thought his bride-to-be was ugly!
Don’t pick locations far apart
When choosing your ceremony location, keep your reception location in mind. By keeping both in one place or at least near by, you will be able to keep your budget in check by saving on venue rentals and transportation. Having your wedding and reception in one place will save on furniture rentals as the furniture can be used for the ceremony and for reception. The room needs to just be “flipped” after the ceremony, which is simply moving the furniture around for dinner time while you have a cocktail hour. The cost of transporting your guests between locations should be considered. This gets expensive especially if you have a long guest list. Staying in one place will help you have more time for photos as well, and you can in turn actually be a part of your cocktail hour!
Do create a day of timeline
Ask each of your vendors to give you a realistic timeline for time they need to spend with you throughout your big day. Hairdressers, makeup artists, photographers and videographers will all need time with you before the ceremony, so make sure they give you a time frame. It is definitely a good idea to add 15 minutes buffer time between each event on your timeline. Keeping to your timeline will ensure that you don’t run behind and you will minimize stress before you walk down the aisle.
Don’t make your wedding guests wait.
Photos must be taken, and often times transportation between venues is necessary, but do not keep your guests waiting long. If possible, try to have drinks and hors d’oeuvres ready and waiting when your guests walk into your cocktail hour. We love the idea of glasses of champagne being passed as they walk in the door quickly followed by a tasty appetizer station of passed hors d’oeuvres. Food and drinks will keep the masses happy and patient, as you get the perfect photos with your photographer. If you are having a cocktail hour, make sure alcohol is accompanied by food for all the obvious reasons.
Do hire a wedding planner
This “do” is one we think is the most important of all the do’s on our list. A wedding planner is someone that will walk with you through the planning process, answer all the questions you have and will take a huge load off your shoulders. Wedding planners make sure that all your vendors are where they need to be, answer all of uncle Joe’s random wedding day questions, get stains out of bridesmaid dress and keep the overall day in check (just to name a few). Most importantly, your planner keeps you calm and focused on what’s important, enjoying your day. They have seen many weddings and know all of what goes into making your day run smoothly. An experienced wedding planner has also seen what can go wrong during a wedding, and knows how to avoid those situations.
Don’t make guests pay for their drinks
This is another don’t that the etiquette book frowns upon. Asking your guests to pay for their drinks is a no no. Most likely, many of your guests have traveled from out of state or used vacation days to come celebrate you at your wedding. We understand that having an open bar is expensive, and could even be one of the biggest expenses of your day, but here are a few tips for making it more cost effective.
Skip the hard liquor and serve only beer and wine.
Serve beer wine and a signature cocktail. This is our personal favorite. We love a well crafted cocktail. Check out our post here about signature cocktails for a few recipe ideas.
Only have an open bar during cocktail hour, and then serve beer and wine the rest of the evening.
Do tip your vendors
It is easy to get caught up in your day, and you really should enjoy the day you have been planning for so long!
That being said you should also not forget about the people behind (and in front of) the scenes that are making your day the best it can be. Here is one way to show them appreciation for going above and beyond to make your big day beautiful.
Write your vendor thank you notes a month or two before your wedding day and add tip money to the envelope. Doing this ahead of time will make this task feel less overwhelming. We recommend giving the envelopes to your planner to hand out at the end of your wedding so you don’t have to worry about it and it is not forgotten.
Don’t forget to feed your vendors
Wedding days for vendors can be as long as twelve to fourteen hours! Well fed people will be able to provide better services. Your vendors are working hard to make sure your day is perfect. The following vendors will most likely need to be fed dinner:
Wedding planner
Wedding photographer
Wedding videographer
DJ
Band (if you have one)
Any assistants the above vendors bring.
Most vendors have stipulations in their contract about a hot meal for dinner being provided, so be sure to read the specifics in thier contracts.
Ask your wedding planner to coordinate all vendors meals. This coordination will include avoiding any allergens and knowing the food preferences vendors have. The planner will make sure time has been scheduled in the timeline for vendors to eat. We think the best time for your DJ or band to eat is before the party gets started so they can announce important transitions such as guests being seated and dismissing tables to the buffet. Your planner, photographer and videographer typically prefer to eat when you eat, so they don’t miss any big moments